It's getting very difficult to update this blog due to brain fogginess. I often think of things I want to write about but now my mind is virtually blank, except for some clouds. I am going to start by listing all the side effects I have dealt with from head to toe. I have tried writing lists before but then forget some of them so here goes...
Brain fog
Confusion
Short term memory loss
Headaches
Dry eyes
Blurred vision
Dulled or changed taste buds
Teeth pain
Bone pain
Dehydration
Tender nail beds
Nausea
Heart Burn
Diarrhea
Constipation
Weakness
Fatigue
Burned and blistered feet
Trouble sleeping
Fatigue
Compromised Speech
Neuropathy
My friend Ang spent the last week with us due to her having a case of Bells Palsy. We caught it early so hopefully she will make a full recovery. She has become extremely needy from it, which probably wouldn't normally be a problem except it's sort of sucking me dry. It's taking a lot of energy I don't have to try to keep her feeling okay and I don't know how to say, "Hey my friend. You need to take care of yourself now because I'm having a hard time giving you so much of my energy that I really don't have" without sounding shitty. I love her so much but dayum on the neediness. It's just hard because sometimes I just need to pull inside of myself to make it through a day. I don't want to talk to anyone. Other than that, I couldn't ask for a better friend.
While we were out, a few days ago, we witnessed a young woman running. Apparently she was running for her life. We asked her if she needed help and she wanted a ride somewhere. Just then we noticed a man chasing her. I tried to get her to get in the car but he was blocking her way, coming towards the car. I called 911 to get the police involved and the girl ran out of our view. I'm quite sure that she was involved in human trafficking somehow. I can't seem to make my mind peaceful about it. I wish I knew what happened to her. I asked my guides to give her some extra help. I hope we were able to give her extra time to get away and she was able to stay away from him. I wouldn't bet money on it though. That got me all shaky from the adrenaline rush. Now I just feel worried and sad.
My shoulder has also been hurting for 3 months now. I went to a doctor for it and he gave me a cortisone shot. It's worse now than it was before. My arm is so weak now and my shoulder constantly hurts. I can only lay on that side for a few minutes before it's unbearable. Monday I'm going to a physical therapist to see if anything can be done in that way. I also have an appointment with a mental therapist and I have to go in to get a shot for my blood counts.
I am done with the AC chemo, which was the hardest one, or so they say. Supposedly the Taxol that I'm on now is supposed to be a cinch but it's not. My blood counts are still very low with it, even when I skipped a week of chemo. My blood counts were even lower the following week. Now I have to go in every Monday for labs and a shot and Tuesdays for the chemo. I've started to color instead of going to sleep during chemo, just to see how it goes. Last time some old man was talking my ear off and I just wanted him to stop. He was real nice but I guess I just don't enjoy talking to people as much as I used to. *sigh* I feel so stupid in the brain. I mean it's a real struggle just to type this and it seems very clunky and low level.
I guess I'll stop for now and go to bed.
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