Once in a while, I come across an ignorant ass who asks an ignorant question. Sometimes, it's a question I read in the comment section of an article. There are a couple in particular I'd like to address. I give fair warning that when it comes to certain topics, my sarcasm is often on, and in full force. I'll try to be as civil as I possibly can.
First question: Why do gay people have to "come out of the closet"? Interpretation: I can only understand a reality only based on my own experiences and do not have the capacity to see out of the tiny pinhole that is my universe.
Answer: When it comes to sexual orientation, everyone is going to be assumed straight unless otherwise indicated. Still, you may say, it's a personal matter that needs to be kept to oneself. I would say this is true... as long as you have no family, no friends and no job. Oops, might also make it hard to meet someone but I guess if you are against being gay, then you will be okay living a life of solitude. That way, no one can know this most personal thing about you. Orrrrr you can just close your eyes for a moment, and pretend you had a girlfriend or a boyfriend (whichever is opposite sex for you) whom you really loved. Maybe you think you want to spend your life with this person. Oops, but guess what? There's something about them your parents will disapprove of. Well you don't want to deal with the wrath of your parents so every holiday, every birthday, every special day that your family normally sees you at, you'll have to leave that person you love at home. No sharing any memories. Same with work parties, or social outings with your friends. No matter how much you love that person, they have to be your dirty little secret to hide away. In the meantime, this person may or may not be willing to put up with your total cowardice and that you would rather cow to all these people who aren't living your life, aren't holding your hand when you are sick or in pain, aren't holding you when you wake up with nightmares, aren't investing all their work and tears and efforts on you, and make them more important that the person who IS doing all those things.
Well I suppose you could take this person out with you. They could be your "special friend". Oops, still treating them like you are ashamed of them in order to cater to other people's comfort levels for the few minutes they will actually spend time around you. Will you be willing to sacrifice this person and have a life of solitude in order to placate complete strangers who care only of their own comforts and want nothing more than to tell you how horrible of a person you are and how you are cursed forever unless you somehow figure out a way to be attracted to their person of choice? Only you can answer that.
Oh yeah and how about when you keep getting older and your dear old mom keeps asking when she's going to have grand kids. She keeps setting you up with people, hoping for a love connection. Every day you feel like you are living a lie to please others. How long can you keep it going? How will you deal with it? Gee, why can't life be simple and like the good old days when the family all got around and played games and laughed together? Well see, there's where coming out comes in. We can live a lie until we just want to jump off a fucking building in order to make the pain and lies stop, or we can just come out with it. If the family truly loves us they will be willing to work through their feelings. After all, we aren't suddenly different people. There's one sliver of us that is in the light when before it wasn't. We can still get back to the way things were, mostly. Sometimes people are able to get past it and sometimes people aren't. Some people are more interested in supporting illusion and perceived social rules than in building relationships and working through issues. Yeah, there's a big growth opportunity here. Here's where you get to see what you're made of.
Second Question: "If a lesbian uses a dildo or strap-on, it's obvious what she really craves is a man. Why doesn't she just date a man?" This also goes with "If a lesbian wants to date only women, why date a woman who wants to look like a man?"
Deep breaths...
Okay first of all, my body is created to pro-create. Therefore, it's pleasurable, sometimes, to have something in my vagina. This is a feeling on a purely animal level. Well there's the first clue. Humans aren't just fuzzy little bunnies with pea brains, who exist to screw and make lots of food for other animals. We are more complicated than that. Since I am not just a life support system for my vagina, just because I want to feel something in my vagina, does not mean I want a huge life-support system attached to it. I don't like the brain, the hair, the sweat, the smell, the goo... none of that. Yuck! I'll take mine in a box, thank you very much!
That sort of answers the second part. If your friend Stan, next door, suddenly puts on make up and a dress, are you going to consider him dating material? What if he changes his name to Stella? Not then? Why not? I'm not interested in men and yes, I have tried them before. I am interested in females, but I think it's hot when a female also has a masculine side. Note I said, masculine, not male. Those are two different things. One has soft curves. One doesn't. One is more sensitive and sweet, caring, not afraid to cry. They smell different, feel different, have different brains. Then there's the whole vagina vs. penis part. You want to see me start gagging uncontrollably? Put a penis within 3 feet of my face. Please don't. Just trust me, it's not pretty.
Look, we all have our tastes of what we are attracted to. Yours might be a blonde or a chunky girl with a big butt. No one really has to understand it or approve of it, right? You just like what you like. You may meet some who are like Yeah, buddy! I totally get it! You'll have others who will think you are nuts. So what! If you still think it's something you need to chime in on, or still can't just be respectful of people's different tastes that have nothing to do with you, then I guess all there is to say is ignore it. I mean, it's honestly not your business and you don't really get to have a say about who I'm with or not with. Maybe more time ought to be spent exploring why you are so worried about it. Where'd you get all that yucky stuff from that you hold inside of you? How about I'll leave you alone to deal with your yucky stuff if you leave me alone to deal with mine. Deal?
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